WAIT

“WAIT” by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, i cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied:
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said,
“Child, you must wait.”
“Wait? You say, wait!” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have You not hear?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word.

“My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and You tel me to WAIT?
I’m needing a ‘Yes,’ a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘No’ to which I can resign.

“And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And, Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
‘I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting… for what?”

He seemed, then, to kneel
And His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.”
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

“All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want–
But, you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power I give to the faint;

“You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me;
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

“You’d never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You’d know that I give and I save, for a start, But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

“The glow ofMy comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss if I lost what I’m doing in you!

“So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, ‘Wait.'”

We Meet Not As Then We Parted

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We meet not as then we parted,
We feel more than all may see;
My bosom is heavy-hearted,
And thine full of doubt for me; –
A moment has bound the free.

The moment has gone forever,
Like lightning, it flashed and died,
Like a snowflake upon a river,
A sunbeam upon a tide,
Which the dark shadows hide.

That moment from time was singled
As the price of life of pain;
In the cup of its joy mingled
Delusion too sweet though vain,
Too sweet to be mine again.

Sweet lips could my soul not have hidden
That its life was consumed by you,
Ye would not have forbidden
The death which a heart so true
Sought in your burning dew. –
That, methinks, were too little cost
For a moment so found, so lost!

-anon

God, I Am Your Child

I thought you have forgotten me already. I thought you have forsaken me. Yet, You are with me all throughout, God. You are with me.

I was busy living on my own, forgetting to pray and missing to go to church. However, it is still comforting to know, Lord, that even I cannot go to church, even I don’t serve You at church or do ministries for You, You still recognized me as Your child. Indeed, grace is not limited only for those people who have been faithful at church. Your grace, God, is not limited only for people who constantly show off their service to You. Your grace is for everybody, including me.

Even in my silence, my short and quick utterance of my prayers were heard. Even in darkness when I cry myself to sleep, even in my stubbornness and even in my disobedience, You still see me as Your own child; who once, believed and accepted Jesus as Savior.

Earlier today, I recognized my weakness. I got tired and I drifted away from You, God. I drifted away because I believed I have no time for intimacy. But today, I realized that it is all I needed- intimacy with You. And so, thank You for reminding me that our relationship is always constant, I am Your child, and You are my Father. You are intimately passionate about me. You will never forsake me nor leave me. Thank You, God, for You have overcome the world.

John 16:33 (KJV)

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulations. But be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. 

Thank You for cheering me up in my lowest moment today. Thank You for not leaving me all the time.

I Don’t Want To Miss You Anymore

I Don't want to miss you anymore

They say feelings will eventually change. But why do I still feel this tremendous yearning in my heart for years? Why do I feel like missing you intensely each day? Why do I betray myself from telling to forget you yet still reminiscing you?

I have written so many resolutions not to remember you. It is suffocating running in circles, writing resolutions with the same thought of forgetting. It is exhausting trying to remember to forget you. I keep on reminding myself that time will take care of everything, that time will help me forget.

But, my heart always remembers all the sad memories- I could not have you and never can. I have to let go the feeling of attachment. I must not miss you anymore.

My Calling 

Thank you Sanctus Real for this song. Thank You Lord for reminding me. 

. . . To love God and to help others love God. . 
“On Fire”


Remember when you couldn’t wait
to show up early and find your place.
Cause you didn’t want to miss a thing.
And your heart was open and ready for change.

Oh, those days.
You were never afraid to sing,
never afraid to lift your hands.
Didn’t care what people would think.

You were on fire,
and church was more than a
place,
and people were more than faces,
and Jesus was more than a name.

Remember when you weren’t ashamed.
To tell your friends about your faith.
A time when you felt the pain
of just one lost soul that was slipping away.
Your heart was soft, you had radiant eyes,


but slowly the pressures and burdens of life
pulled you into the dark of the night.
But when did you lose your sight?
Cause you were on fire,

and church was more than a place,
and people were more than faces,


and Jesus was more than a name.
Oh you were on fire,

you let life put out the flame.
But he’s still calling out for you
cause he wants to light your heart again.


And set it on fire
Set it on fire.
Turn your eyes, turn your eyes
and don’t forget what it was like
Set me on fire, set me on fire


I wanna hold God’s people close
wanna feel the power of Jesus’ name

Set me on fire
Set me on fire