I have finally found my answer and it requires me to deny myself and all the earthly desires I have in my heart. Sometimes following God is very unconventional and human as I am I doubt of His goodness.
But, I have resolved to trust in the goodness of God. I know God is good not only when he grants my prayers but when He teaches me lessons and walks with me in confusing times.
Although, I could still not reconcile my feelings with His answers, I will still trust Him knowing He holds my heart safely that it will never be left broken. In Him, my soul is well.