God, I Am Your Child

I thought you have forgotten me already. I thought you have forsaken me. Yet, You are with me all throughout, God. You are with me.

I was busy living on my own, forgetting to pray and missing to go to church. However, it is still comforting to know, Lord, that even I cannot go to church, even I don’t serve You at church or do ministries for You, You still recognized me as Your child. Indeed, grace is not limited only for those people who have been faithful at church. Your grace, God, is not limited only for people who constantly show off their service to You. Your grace is for everybody, including me.

Even in my silence, my short and quick utterance of my prayers were heard. Even in darkness when I cry myself to sleep, even in my stubbornness and even in my disobedience, You still see me as Your own child; who once, believed and accepted Jesus as Savior.

Earlier today, I recognized my weakness. I got tired and I drifted away from You, God. I drifted away because I believed I have no time for intimacy. But today, I realized that it is all I needed- intimacy with You. And so, thank You for reminding me that our relationship is always constant, I am Your child, and You are my Father. You are intimately passionate about me. You will never forsake me nor leave me. Thank You, God, for being with me all throughout.

Thank You for cheering me up in my lowest moment today. Thank You for not leaving me all the time.

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I Don’t Want To Miss You Anymore

I Don't want to miss you anymore

They say feelings will eventually change. But why do I still feel this tremendous yearning in my heart for years? Why do I feel like missing you intensely each day? Why do I betray myself from telling to forget you yet still reminiscing you?

I have written so many resolutions not to remember you. It is suffocating running in circles, writing resolutions with the same thought of forgetting. It is exhausting trying to remember to forget you. I keep on reminding myself that time will take care of everything, that time will help me forget.

But, my heart always remembers all the sad memories- I could not have you and never can. I have to let go the feeling of attachment. I must not miss you anymore.

My Calling 

Thank you Sanctus Real for this song. Thank You Lord for reminding me. 

. . . To love God and to help others love God. . 
“On Fire”


Remember when you couldn’t wait
to show up early and find your place.
Cause you didn’t want to miss a thing.
And your heart was open and ready for change.

Oh, those days.
You were never afraid to sing,
never afraid to lift your hands.
Didn’t care what people would think.

You were on fire,
and church was more than a
place,
and people were more than faces,
and Jesus was more than a name.

Remember when you weren’t ashamed.
To tell your friends about your faith.
A time when you felt the pain
of just one lost soul that was slipping away.
Your heart was soft, you had radiant eyes,


but slowly the pressures and burdens of life
pulled you into the dark of the night.
But when did you lose your sight?
Cause you were on fire,

and church was more than a place,
and people were more than faces,


and Jesus was more than a name.
Oh you were on fire,

you let life put out the flame.
But he’s still calling out for you
cause he wants to light your heart again.


And set it on fire
Set it on fire.
Turn your eyes, turn your eyes
and don’t forget what it was like
Set me on fire, set me on fire


I wanna hold God’s people close
wanna feel the power of Jesus’ name

Set me on fire
Set me on fire

40 Small Ways You Can Be A Light In Someone’s Darkness — Thought Catalog

Sunset Girl1. Smile at a stranger. 2. Listen. 3. Offer to help someone carry their grocery bags to the car. 4. Wave as you pass another car or a person walking. 5. Let someone into traffic when you’re waiting at a stoplight. 6. Hold the door open for the person behind you. 7. Pay for…

via 40 Small Ways You Can Be A Light In Someone’s Darkness — Thought Catalog

When I Stumble While Waiting

I Don't want to miss you anymore (3)

I am starting to think less about you while I am starting to think about him more often. I am starting to ask God if I should still wait for you or if I should let him wait for me. I am starting to doubt myself if I still can go on until you arrive. What if, all along, you are not the answer to my prayers? What if, all along, I am the answer to his prayers? What if I am too selfish to understand the true meaning of love?

Love is patient and kind. Why could I not be too patient in waiting for you? Why am I too inconsiderate of your journey?

To be honest, I am tired of having this uncertainty. I am tired of not knowing if you’ll ever arrive or not. I am just tired, perhaps, that made me drift for a while. I wanted attention. I wanted immediate affection. And, I know, at some point I betrayed you. Worse, I fell short of God’s glory, for not being satisfied in His love.

My heart is breaking. I realized that I am too selfish, too demanding and too unrighteous for you, and for God. I don’t deserve anybody. And, maybe these are the reasons why you are not here yet. Maybe these are the reasons why we haven’t met each other yet.

I hope I can figure myself out by God’s grace. I hope I can start loving God and start loving you even if it is beyond my strength. I hope I can love you more without thinking you will love me back. I hope I can be sure of myself in loving you. I hope I will always be faithful in serving God just as much as I will be faithful in waiting for you to arrive. I hope I can give you the purity of my heart, my soul, and even my entire existence to you. I hope I can preserve myself and not make bad decisions so that I won’t hurt you.

However, I believe I can still hurt you even if I will be cautious not to. I know there will be moments that I will be too difficult to love and it will cost you pain. I hope you will be stronger when that day comes. I know there will come a time that all of a sudden we will get tired, impatient, annoyed, misunderstood and we might grow apart, but I hope you will not give up on me because I will not give up on you.

I will wait for you. I will pray for you. I will love you in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ.