How can I say thanks?

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University of the Philippines Visayas, Miagao, Iloilo.

Yesterday’s testimonies before we started our GT lesson were about our perception in the near future. We were asked to share what we envision in the future and how can we thank God for that. I was struck. How can you thank God for the things you cannot see yet? How can you honor Him if the things you pray for are not yet in your hands? I believe it is easy to thank God for what He has accomplished. It is easy to thank the Lord for His deliverance rather than His promises.

The Bible tells us thousands of promises from the Lord but we still doubt His faithfulness. We always doubt because of the uncertainty of what we expect to happen. I may be, oftentimes, anxious. So, when the question was asked I didn’t know what to answer. Who knows about tomorrow? God knows.

So if there is one thing to thank God for, it is the truth that He already accomplished the things in the future. We may not see it yet because God is teaching us to walk by faith and not by sight. We must be reminded that God is present yesterday, today and tomorrow. God is with us and He is in us.

I am in trouble

I started my day at exactly 4:30am with a short prayer and a meditation from Psalm 107. The ESV Bible entitled chapter 107 as “Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say so”. After I read the Bible, I rushed to prepare for our early Campus Bible Fellowship membership.

My roommates and I went to Fish Bukid and meet our fellow Christians for the membership. I was, at that time, happy and careless. But the time came and I have to begin my experiment. At 7am I went directly to SOTECH and started my thesis. I told my self I should finish my work and send my samples to SEAFDEC. I was finished at exactly 10am and went outside to wait for my friends coz they agreed to go with me. Sadly, they arrived 45 minutes late. I was first upset but when we arrived at SEAFDEC I became more upset.

I brought my samples with me. I spent a lot ( money, time, effort, SWEAT!) just to send my samples on time but it didn’t happen. I was rescheduled next monday and I have to wait. I felt bad and honestly I almost cried. So, we left the lab and dropped by a resort to eat lunch then headed to our own appointments.

I returned my samples to school and went home. I read again  Psalm 107 the chapter I read early in the morning. I realized I am in trouble. I realized I am in darkness and I have sinned against my God. I realized I labor too much but still fell down. God is bending my knee. God is breaking me until nothing will be left in my heart, until I cry for Him. . .until I lay down at the feet of Jesus and know that I am nothing without Him.

Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons, for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most high. So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor, they fell down, with non to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.

Psalm 107: 10-13

I am amazed.

The night before I went to oton to collect my sample, i was uncertain because I was just hopeful I can get some. I was not sure if my sample can be found really in the area and if the people nearby would allow me to pick the flowers. And the fact that I went there with nothing in my hand, no letter for the barangay, no contact to anyone living the place, nothing, gave me a lot of uncertainties.

I only have a verse in my heart telling me that God is God and He created heavens and earth and He is gracious. I went there believing that God would do miracles. I went there becoz God said so. I asked different people where to get my sample. I arrived at the school and found a plant thriving on the wall of the school. I asked the person near the vicinity if I could pick some flowers! Horay!! I was able to get almost 100g of flowers. However, it was not enough for my experiment, i started looking if there were still flowers growing, i found another fence with a blue ternatea. I politely asked the owner if I can pick their flowers. Nicely, she just said okay!

Everything’s OKAY! 🙂 i went home with 200g of blue ternatea. Thank God for a miracle. 👼🏻

This is what it means.

This song is so perfect to what I feel right now. This is what it is.

I’ve built some dreams
I’ve held them close
Celebrated perfect days
I lost the one I loved the most
Now she’s 6 feet of earth away

I’ve cried til I thought I couldn’t stop
and I’ve laughed until it hurt
and I’ve prayed in an empty parking lot
and my friends were my church

Sometimes the joy can give you wings to fly
Sometimes the pain will cut you so just like a knife
There’s fear, there’s faith, there’s loss, there’s grace
I’ve seen it from both sides
This is what it means to be alive, alive
This is what it means to be alive

I’ve seen the face of have to have
Of a child without a home
A casualty of circumstance
Written off and all alone

I’ve cried for the wars that they’ve been through
and I’ve walked by their side
I’ve watched what the power of love can do
and how it changes lives

Sometimes the joy can give you wings to fly
Sometimes the pain will cut you so just like a knife
There’s fear, there’s faith, there’s loss, there’s grace
I’ve seen it from both sides
This is what it means to be alive, alive
This is what it means to be alive
This is what it means, this is what it means,
this is what it means to be alive, alive.

This is what it means, yeah

Sometimes the joy can give you wings to fly
Sometimes the pain will cut you so just like a knife
There’s fear, there’s faith, there’s loss, there’s grace
I’ve seen it from both sides

This is what it means to be alive

What would it be like?

What if one day our time would be different? What if the space that we live would never be the place we imagined tomorrow? My mind always wander with things I cannot surely understand; things science cannot explain and things no one can fathom except the Creator.

I wonder what it feels like with the Creator. I wonder what is the taste of water, would it taste like heaven too? I wonder how will I spend my day if there is no more day and night. I wonder if I would be aware of all these things. . .

To all the people I left behind

It’s sad to know that many people are busy building walls instead of bridges.

I wonder how far I have been away from you or how far you have been away from me. you were once a sister/brother and a friend. What happened now? Did I do something wrong?

I made a list of the things we shared together. I recall the moments we had, and I still don’t know why you chose to leave. Nevertheless, I regret because I chose to let you.

You are not a part of my life and I am not a part of your life anymore. . . . .